*dreams* Severus *drools* Severus above cauldron *dies* Severus in shower *swoons* Severus cranky *hides under bed* OMG SEVIEKINS I WUUUUUUVVVV YOU!!!

Okay I know its been a loooooooooooooooong time since I posted anything and why well I had a big crisis and well as said before I am not good with writing. But today I need to write something down and I might as well do it here.

Last thursday we brought our kitties Roeska and Shira who passes away little over a year ago to the crematorium which meant that we had to resurface them from their burialground last wensday. It was a really hard day, specially when we held their little skulls in our hands. We cried and cried and I was so fricking sick to the stomach I thought I was going to throw up. Which I didnt thank god! Anyway I hated having to leave them at the crematorium and was so worried something might go wrong, but today they brought the ashes of our babies back and I can say I feel both happy and sad. I could cry and laugh at the same time its fricking weird.

It was yet again upsetting to put their ashes in the urn and the pendants we bought but now that we have I am happy I can finally have them close to my skin and in their beautiful urn close to our heart. It stands inbetween of our computers with two little kitties and a candle. The urn is a sleeping kitty with angels wings and it has their names on it. Its really beautiful if you ask me.

As for the ashes I had imagined them darker but they were a beige colour its strange I never imagined it would look like that O.o

They were cremated 08-01-2010 at 09:25 hours, that will be a date and time I will never forget :(

How am I otherwise, sleepy and tired but that is mostly to do with all the bad sleeping I am having. Tonight was a fairly calm night thank god some dreams but mostly in the morning. God I hate dreaming I used to really love it when it happened but now I have four, five dreams a night and I always wake up with a racing heart and a depressed feeling. It sucks waking up more depressed then when you went to bed, even though you feel pretty good in general *sighs*

So honestly I am doing okay at the moment and before today, I am feeling pretty good besides the sleeping and eventhough today is a hard and somewhat confusing day I know I will get through it and feel better tomorrow. I might try and catch some shut eye in the afternoon though I dont know. Right now I just want to sleep and forget but that is normal to me.

Well I honestly dont know what else to write, I could tell you about Eindhoven and stuff like that but I am not ready to yet, only thing what I will say is two more visits and I am first on the list so hopefully will be admitted soon!

love,
Jolijn

I know I dont often write in my blog other then rp's *giggles with Mandy* but today I had to write something because yes I am so fricking exited I am going to blow my top off and loving it!

Yesterday was major crash day I have been sleeping really bad for the past week, nightmares, stupid dreams about stupid sister and so forth, everything that has me scared to go to bed and worse scared to ly awake and have weird idea's and obsessions going through my head scaring the living daylights out of me... So last night I ended up crying my eyes out to my dad, sorry daddy and keeping him up hours after his bedtime. And he gave me the perfect gift and something to keep me going for 13 months, enter exitement.

I am going to learn Chinese, OMG!!! Yes this is hard but I love hard work and hard learning, the harder the better for me, its a home schooling course cause going back to school is to expensive and this is remotely payable only 22.50 euro's a month, so eventhough that is still pretty expensive for us its doable and that is making me fricking exiting.

Ever since I was 16 I have been wanting to study languages because I am an english nutt and I love other languages like Chinese, Hindi, Spanish and loads more plus I have always wanted to be a translator but heard early on that with my schooling I would never be able to do anything with it. Now with the added bonus of home schooling courses I can take language lessons in all types of variations, exept hindi I havent found that yet LOL.

So yes I am totally exited that finally I am on my way to actually learning another language and getting that one step closer to my actual dream of becomming a professional translator, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! *bounces her fricking head of*

Its a 13 month course with 4 lessons a month and 5 hours of lessons a week, I can deel with that and going to Eindhoven for my borderline once I week untill I am admitted full time, hopefully I will know more about this tomorrow when I have my final meeting. Even if I am there I would still be able to follow it because its only 5 hours a week so that should be doable, but either way the admitance is probably a year away so I am not worried about that. Plus I am working with Joomla to build a site for dad which is hard cause I dont get it LOL so now I finally have something to do YAYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAY. I start on the 13th of this month so that is next week, EEEEEEEEEK!!!!!! Yes I am really exited ROFLMAO!

And now I am more exited even cause I just heard that were going to the Dutch Premiere of Harry Potter and the halfblood prince OMG fricking EEEP and there are going to be live owls too I love owls, I hope they have a pigmy owl cause then I can name it Severa :P after my own fanfiction owl. *giggles madly* OMG the movie is going to start at midnight so that is going to stay up way late after my bedtime. But I will manage for my Snapy-poo I will manage eeeeeeeek!

So all in all next week is going to be fricking exiting for me, holy crap for a change loads of good things happening, eeeeeeeek!

*Lots of love, cuddles and huggles*

Angel

As if sleeping is not enough I now find myself tired still. The last few days have been a nightmare, with Sunny getting an operation, her being 11 years old and with heart condition it was majorly scary and aparantly had me depressed for days for now its over I feel fine yet again. Strange but very much true. For the past two days I slept near 31 hours O.o 13 hours the previous night and 2 hours the following day, 9 hours last night and today yet another 3 to 4 hours after work. It is shocking but I am still tired. This morning I was very much energetic but by the time the kitchen was cleaned and the food was prepared I was a sack of potatoes ready for the selve life. Trully utterly worn out as if I stove above a cauldron (excuse the HP nonsense) all day and had several lessons including Potions to boot. And eventhough I had mundo fun I still felt as if Professor Snape had berated and urged me all day when in fact I worked for about 4 hours in which I actually have a half an hour break added up. So really it doesnt make sense for a 23 year old to be so dead on her feet. Then again I suppose all my previous jobs have been sitting telephone jobs where as I am now constantly running around in the kitchen. And previous I always had time to think, worry and wonder where as now I barely have the time to think about chatting to people while I finish my work let alone think of anything else. That plus the fact I have been at home for 2 years maybe makes it not so strange after all... Not sure, need help, tell me, mesa is not insane yeah??? Well dont ask Snape he calls me insane for doing stupid Muggle job in the first place.

Anyway I sleep and sleep and sleep pretty well with the occasional nightmare, thankfully my kittie (not the kittens yet) are with me at night and I only need to moan for them to be ontop of me sniffeling my face and purring to make it all better. So I sleep pretty well, feel pretty good after monday, am looking forward to vacation (only 2 more days of work) and moreso to my friend comming over (havent seen her in a year) and us going to the efteling (havent been there in 4 years, is an awesome fairytale amusement park) so what is there for me to be tired about, atleast mentally tired? Fysically yeah duuuuuuhhhh I am not used to being on my feet that much, I love it I really do but my legs are like, shees woman what the heck are you doing to us . Still its the mental fatigue that is getting to me, its as if I somehow work everything out subconciencly or something, without me actually noticing. I dont know I feel like everything is bottling again, like I am depressed without knowing why. The past few days previous to monday during the evenings I got so depressed that one day I went to bed at 6:30 PM and actually slept through the night. Then the next day I was sure it was more then just Sunny which had me going, screamed at an inocent woman for minding my bussiness, got in a HUGE fight with my dad which I am still mad about cause I say I am right but I decided to let it rest. Then screamed more, cried my eyes out, went back to sleep. Near had a heartatack when the phone rang and was reduced back into puddle of tears when I was told she made it out brilliantly and was currently waking up nicely... Then at night and today all worries are gone, no more depressed, no more stupid pondering about nothing. Okay I am still (how to say this nicely) on a short fuse, get angry about stuff that hasnt happened yet and am constantly cursing under breath about things that might take place. But the really depressed I wanna be dead and or atleast unconcience feeling is no more... I hate being a woman, more so I hate being a borderliner its such a fricking emotional mess *sighs*

Anyway as for Sunny my lady love is doing briliantly, was really droopy yesterday. Had her in my arms and her poor little head kept sinking down from sleepyness. And gosh she was so hungry but not allowed to eat because of the sedation. Everytime she thought she heard us messing with food she came running as fast as her wobbly legs could carry her. But then when we tried to give her something she could not eat it, just pick it up and spit it out *huggles her* my poor baby. Thankfully she is doing perfect today, she ate, she drank, she stuck her nose up Sparrow's but like she used to and she is her busybody old self again. Her eyes are happy and right again where as yesterday they were so tired and distand. Gosh I am such a happy mommy and she has a set of perfect teeth now, lost about 2 or 3 of them but the rest is pearly white and hopefully no longer painful.

As of now I think its getting rather late 10:30 PM and I have to get up early for work tomorrow which being wensday is always a fun day but a long day. Also training till 3 PM and after that a meeting with my guidance counselor for yeah guidance ROFLMAO! so I think I will take my new Ipod (OMG THANKS DADDY ITS SO AWESOMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!) and swoon some about my Snape videos, cuddle with my darling Snapy (the cat) and listen to some music before I dream of, snuggling in my lovers arms (Snape... The character from HP) while we do things that should perhaps not be for such inocent *cough* ears... And I was meaning snogging not shagging you perverted lot you....

Love, smooches, huggles, paws and purrs from Angel and her babies, Sunny, Sparrow and Snapy.

My mood, actually quite easy, I feel trapped between caring for my both mentally and physically sick dad and caring for myself. In caring so much for my dad I am beginning to loose grip on myself.

I love the work I am doing right now and I love caring for my dad but I am tired, mentally at the end of the string and I realize its making me jumpy and emotional. Like today I had a hard time not crying because we went shopping and yeah thats a big fricked up thing for me, no money no shopping but my sis has money and she wanted to shop. I dont know normally it doesnt really reach me but it seems today its giving me a hard time.

Yet I had good stuff todaym freebee stuff, lots of creams, hair stuffm shampoo's and stuff to decorate my room. Dont get me wrong I adore it but yet I cant be happy about it. Its like, if any one knows Harry Potter I feel like I just met a Dementor who sucked all the happiness out of me and all that is left is a miserable pile of bad emotions.

I am sure tomorrow I will be fine and its just a one day thing, infect I think it has to do with my sister, somehow when I say her my entire mood shifted from okay to deeply depressed! So now that I am home again that hopefully will slip from my consienceness again and I can go on caring for both me and my dad.

It doesnt help with the trapped feeling as it seems I have to do everything myself, my sis just asks how he is doing but I am the one that is aranging medicine changes, doktor apointments and hospital opointments. I am the one talking to the doktors and making sure he gets the stuff he needs while my sis knows damn well whats going on. Besides that he had another breakdown because of all the pain and such and I am the one taking the blows, seeing him thinking about stupid stuff, seeing him misserable and scared and there isnt a damn thing I can do about it. Plus there isnt a damn thing my sister is doing about it either but asking how he is this week. I mean wtf you could maybe help, talk to him instead of me? Right is that so much to ask, that my 14 year older sister helps her dad in getting better. But no the 23 year old with no knowladge of caring (my sister cares for sick old people) for people, nor any spunk when it normally comes to talking to people and making them do stuff has to care for some one in both a mental and a physical breakdown... Aha tell me I am not trapped!

Then there is the fact that emotional distress seems to be in the air over here, everyone I hear is feeling crappy, me included. I have to dragg myself out of bed each day to do the stuff I have to, work, trainings, soon sports, more work, apointments with my phsygiatrist (or how you write it I am to tired to look it up), and apointments for my dad. It seems like Zarina said to that no matter how much I sleep I still feel dead tired, I mean dont get me wrong I am actually sleeping a lot better lately. God forbid I forget my meds because if I do I get so many nightmares I am scared to go to bed. But still its seems its not enough. I sleep more then I have done in a while and its never enough... Sounds like the story of my life *sigh* So all around its seems today is a serious crappy day!

Tomorrow hopefully will bring better things and if not I know thursday will be fun when I go to work again so if all else fails I will be looking forward to that! Hopefully my dad will be feeling better soon too because yes that worries me the most and its giving me idea's I am not liking, idea's that maybe I might loose him, and loose him soon and if I am not ready for one thing its that!

Just a small note as I am really not able to write much at the moment let alone spend time on my comp!

My sweet Roeska, your with your little sister now! Last wensday 05-07-2007 I said goodbye eventhough I never wished to atleast you are not in pain anymore and you didnt choke like your baby sister!

I miss you baby!!!!

Soooooooooo yeah lol Roeska is doing better and better each day, how ever my dear Snapy-poo went back to the vet today, his meds were over but he was still breathing heavilly poor thing sounded like his nose was all clogged up, snorting and puffing. So after minor fight with the pound who wanted to take their hands of while they had given us a sick cat with a bill of health we went to their vet, though the branch that had its own office and stuff!

I didnt really like it but yeah had to find some trust which was quickly gained when I actually met the woman and she was super friendly and seemed to really care for the little man and our other two babies! She asked me whether or not he ate and was playfull and I could thankfully say yes to both things, he now eats for three adult cats and he plays with everything that moves including my feet under the blankets! He is getting into maaaajor kittyness, sticking his nose into everything and is turning out to be a real Snape, bad to the bone but WAY to cute to actually get really mad at :P

Anyway he got a new course of anti biotics, different ones this time cause the old ones are actually making his loose hair, poor darling is getting bald around one eye and it looks like a piece of his nose is missing O.o battle wounds! Severus have you been playing with Voldemort again? Again he got a two weeks course bit heavier this time, the old ones doxy something were half a tablet a day of 15 mg, and these are synolux 50 mg 1 half two times a day so basically one tablet a day. So hopefully we can get this under control and finally have some sick free fun, though Roeska doesnt enjoy being chased around, ah well they still need to astablish who is boss and cant blame him for swatting the baby when he is being bad :P otherwise Roes is perfectly fine with it all, just doesnt chase me, bloody slytherin's, always picking on the perfectly brave and nice Gryffindor's!

As for me, am currently BUMMED about google and with it photobucket NOT working, I swear they are linked and frick me its anoying the hell out of me! Not that I need photobucket right now but no piclets with my post *sobs* and am trying to find really awesome sounding song from CSI episode "blood drops" from season 1. *sob cry scream* ah well can do with waiting one more day to search I suppose, or erm two as tomorrow is my granny's b-day and will be spending all day and evening there, helping, then after go with my sis to stay there as my dad is comming there thursday to clean anywawy, whats the use in taking me home??? Soooo tomorrow will sum up to be an interesting day, all the old folk :p as day time is reserved for the brothers and sisters of my granny and the youngest is if I am not mistaken 83 while the oldest is 94 LMAO wootoo, but there will also be me aunt, still I will be the youngest by a HUGE stretch. The night will be for the children and grandchildren which could also turn out interesting if my mother is comming as I heard she had yet another mental breakdown *sigh* I wonder what its about this time, broken a toe nail perhaps? Yes me sarcastic but if you knew my mom you would agree!!!

AND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I have got me something to do in my free time, bought two new CSI games, already had the first one but am now also proud owner of CSI 2 dark motives and CSI 3 dimensions of murder, though I have to go back with the last one because it doesnt work -eyeshift- but two is coooooool have no idea how to crack the fricking case though, have been working on that for ages with the demo but I dont get it, not even with walk through, thus have downloaded new walk through, LMAO want to get to the second case and drool over Grissom telling me what to doooooooooooooooooo! I mean him telling me I am the most awesome of all the people he has interviewed is one things but I want MOOOOORE! LOL will let you know whether I qualify as CSI or not! Prolly not, prolly to busy drooling and thinking of Brass as my dad as yes I write to much fanfiction, thank you Amanda for creating that world with me, AND NO NOT DADDY IN THE SENSE OF WHOES YOUR DADDY, but genuine father, Angel and Cammy (and latest new addition to Dean familly Angie) being his biological daughters though they didnt find that out till the actually started working at LV department, Angel the CSI/Archeologist RULES!!!!! Mainly me rules, with my interest in old egypt, I wish I was a CSI or an Archeologist, though if I was a CSI here I would be the woman in white....! Maybe trying to look bright against all the men in black???

But for now with slight headache and having slept poorly and being bored to death I will say one last thing...

"Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be morrow"!!!"

Okay calmth is back in me :) once again sorry if I in any way offended anyone yesterday but for once I really needed to get this of my chest! Roeska is doing better at the moment, his breathing is back to normal and he is eating again, he isnt very active though that can be because of all the meds he is getting. We did call the doc today because he is beginning the sneeze really badly so he is getting an extra 14 days of anti biotics but I am just glad the big guy is doing better cause honestly I dont know what would have happend! Still I dont dare getting my hopes up at the moment, what if, cant think postive just yet cause every time I do something new seems to rise out of no where, so for now just content that he is doing better and well we will see what happens!



Little Snape is now lying on my hands which makes it damn hard to type but I will manage, his content purring makes me resenting the fact I should really move him, ah well!



little Snapy poo of mine....!!!

Anyway the reason I had wanted to update my journal yesterday was before all the shit happened I had actually made a new vid, woot for me... A Grissom/Angel one this time, and once again I am proud of myself for actually being able to do it :) I may be a nerd but I am an idiot when it comes to the harder stuff like html, and before I know how easy it was also when it came to vid's, so imagine me smilling cause yes I did it again and the music actually lines up, mwuahahahaha!

Awesome part I even got rated lol, though no comments as of yet, I wonder who rated me???

Anywho, la video!



Today I am going to buy myself a big bar of pure chocolate, cause one its that time of the month and two, I just feel crappy, part of me is happy, other part is bitching about my rising head ache *looks to Grissom for help him being a migrane man, he suggests something very r rated while I blush* yet another part is pooped, tired, whiped out... But yeah I dont really want to go to sleep as this morning I woke from yet another nightmare, where I nearly started crying for real instead of just in my dream, so imagine me feeling rather good and yet terribly wrong at the moment... I could use the shot of endorfines, not to mention I could use a little feeling in love, maybe get my mind of current uneasiness :)



But like I said part that doesnt have the head ache is also feeling good, wants to be all bouncy and silly but is still restricted by headache, what to do, what to do *grin* its not like I can actually write anything that is remotely normal (in fanfiction land) and since I cant crack the last case of my CSI game, nor cant I find CSI dark motives I find myself utterly bored at the moment, well I finished the last case, found my Gilly-poo but not at 100% which means I still cant get to the bonus game *sob* maybe try again later? Maybe not :P

Since I still have to go shopping and go to the vet to pick up Roeska's anti biotics I dont actually have time to watch CSI either, so for now must find something to do, must push Snapy of hand as sleepy tingling is far from comfortable aaaaand before I forget must make review of new show reaper!!!!

Yes downloaded it thanks to Fall Preview, many kudo's to them *bounce* and am very much interested in getting my hands on the rest of the show, must badger dutch tv channels to show it cause it was very funny and yet awesome at the same time, great special effects even better jokes, am finding myself wanting to now be the devils new henchman! Very cool indeed lol!

Still have to watch the big bang! Maybe tonight!!! After most likely a whole lot more CSI, should make a al my favo eppies evening tonight!!!! Hmmmm prolly my mood has totally changed by then but you will never know... Anyway since my headache (still winning over the bouncy side) is now starting to make me cross eyed it is probably best I should quit writing and focuss my attention on something less bright then a computer monitor....!

*Is sitting happily in Grissom's lap while latter masages temples, caches self nearly starting to drool* Oh dear!

Headache getting less...

*Hides blush* Erm sure, thats what happend, aha! *giggle*

*Sisters Angie and Cammy see Grissom drag self away while laughing manically blabbering about curing migrane in most unusual and yet most talked about way... And yes it was his pistol that they were seeing and he was only happy to see self!!!*

Okay sorry for you guys but this is going to be a rant, an angry one!

As if today started well, no it didnt, well the evening isnt much better, remember my update on Shira, what happend to her and how she died. Roeska her brother kind of colapsed today, same gasping for breath, mouth open, not lifeless yet and not as bad as Shira but still. of course we picked him up and rushed him to the vet who gave him a shot because he had lots of fluid on his lungs and she thought that was causing this, though because there was so much fluid she could not distinguishe whether it was his heart or his lungs. She upped his heart meds, gave him new tablets to reduce the fluids and told us if his breathing wasnt better by tomorrow then we had to come back...

Well... FUCK everyone who is up there, where in the hell do you get of on always fucking our lives up ha? First you destroy us with all the money and mental problems, then you fucking take Shira without so much as a sorry and now Roeska, I swear I am going to murder some one... How the hell do you expect me to believe in anything when all I have gotten so far is missery, horror and sorrow, and thats all my fucking life, is this actually leading up to something or are you enjoying destroying every little thing in my life!!!

You seriously are destroying me, you fuck up my youth, have my mother mentally abuse me, and actually hit me as well, then you take my family away from me, first my favorite grandfather then the other, then you break up my youth by having my parents split and not nicely either... Then oh yes you have my mother not wanting to see me for years, sure I can deal with that I am only 12... To top things of you give me borderline, as if I didnt have enough to deal with, you give my father a huge breakdown rendering him unfit for work ever again, plus all the physical stuff you upped on him, then as if it wasnt enough you make sure we dont have a dime to spend let alone enough to eat, and yes of course Shira had to go we werent misserable enough. Then me dare taking a new life in mine, maybe get a little happiness cause lately I dont have a lot of that, only fighting, crappy stuff and feeling misserable... So as to punish me for having hope you give Snape sneezing disease and FUCKING let it spread around, but hey he got better, Roeska to so hope restored again only to now have it finally and utterly destroyed by giving Roeska the same as Shira, how the fuck can you do this to us, why now, why always everything together? Where the hell do you get away with killing everything that is important to me and my dad?b I swear if Roeska dies I am going to jump of my apartment building and murder everyone up there, specially you, the idiot who dares to call himself a just GOD!

And no I don't care if I go to hell for this, know why because I dont believe anymore, not that I ever did but from my point of view if there really was something out there controlling our destinies then fuck be damned if he could give a person a break every now and then...

So sorry if this rant offenses anyone who does believe in god, but I hope they understand that I just can't do it anymore, I just can't...!

Okay today, boring day, was going to watch CSI but am now more interested in Quizzies, ah well gotta go with the flow LOL!!!!!

( Just some Quizzies while mesa is being bored )

Okay I am done, onto watching CSI LMAO!!!!

Yes the tittle says it all our house has turned into a right sickbay. First Snapy who has the cats version of a really bad cold named sneezing disease, then Roeska who suddenly went lifeless and had my dad talking about throwing Snape out the door if it was his failt (aka bla bla bla bitch bitch bitch, which is happening increasingly yet again, maybe I should take to hiding in my room again cause its seriously making me sick!) going to the vet with the both of them where they got a shot and anti biotics! Two days later, both doing beter Snapy after steam session had a less runny nose, Sunny started sneezing, holy fricking heck! Yet another round of anti biotics *sigh* Good thing though they ar all doing better, Roeska is eating for two again, as is Snapy and Sunny, well she is being her lovy dovy self!

Snapy is turning into an actual kitten now, though he is once again scared the hell of dad which doesnt make any sense but okay, sick not scared, happy and healthy scared? Erm confusing! But okay he is beginning to actually get playfull, first with my hands and today actually with the toys we bought him! YAY! Though in the evening he is back to not feeling so good but hey its the same way with me and he still has 8 days of anti biotics to go through so hopefully it will be over by then, though by the things I read I actually fear the worse, some cats take months to get better and we just dont have the money for that, we didnt even have the money for this *sigh*

As for me, I am okay I suppose, getting sicker and sicker of my dad treating me like filth just because he isnt feeling so well but thinks me to little to talk about it! So basically I am cranky all day, have taken to hiding behind the tv which really isnt helping, maybe should watch CSI today, atleast that will keep me occupied for a while, though I desperately want the new season 7 eppies but I cant fricking download them *sobs* I have 3 through 17 but not after and I want to see the last eppies, now I hoped they would be on mega upload but I cant figure that site out, okay so I signed up but how the heck do I download, can I only do it when some one sends me a link? I seriously dont get it *sobs* So for now I am stuck with old eppies until I figure it out *sigh* still atleast Billy will cheer me up atleast maybe a little *is hopefull*

Well wadda ya know my next update will be about Severus Snape, yes I am still heartbroken about my baby dying still dont know what to think about it, not to mention I am still in total shock about how the other died... One thing is for sure I would have always expected Snape to go down fighting but he never even had a change to think about raising his wand *growl* anyhow thats not the Snape this update is about...

This update is about Severus Snape, the halfblood prince, Snapy, my new kitten WHOOOO! Well I can tell you alot about him, including that he is adorable and black like Snape, lol and a great mystery as to what the heck kind of cat he is, but his journal and all the info is in Snapy's journal in here under lj tag, so uhm clickie to find out all about Snapy! :P

And of course the great potions master himself seems quite pleased with the little munchkin though he keeps asking me to change his name, nah ah mwuahahah, for now he will just have to share the name with my baby, and hey the potions master will always be my Snapy-poo my kitten is just Snapy! And of course just as loved... So even though this might seem as a short update, the real action is in the lj cut :P so run run run, before I hex your ass for not wanting to know all about my adorable little Snapy ^.^

( Snapy's journal, my first week! )

( Snapy's pictures! )

Lesson one:
Get a hair cut and possible dye!

Lesson two:
Put on some make up!

Lesson three:
Wear something that makes you comfy!

Lesson four:
Smile!!!!!!!!! *does so seeing House walk bye, feels totally ignored when he looks the other way*

Okay why this silly four lesson programme? Simple today without me even looking for it I actually got looked at by the guys, in the good sense *giggle* and I cant't say a lot happened, all I did was put on some make up because I had a job interview with a detachment agency. But yeah I did get a make over (mini) last week with my hair do which is waaaaay differnt then I imagined it would be! My idea was as long as possible and blondish so my utgrowth wasn't visible when I let all the old colour grow out of my hair! But since they werent sure my hair would survive it, I had brown with black in the ends, they gave me about 22 blond highlights which actually colored in about 4/5 different colours including copper and redish! so totally cool... As for the hair cut in itself its some what shorter going just onto my shoulders, with bangs and a pony somewhat diagonal and kind of messy, I really like it :) only I was told I can only wash my hair once a week cause more is really bad so now its actually kind of greasy (Snape hair, yay) though because of the wax I use it doesnt really look like it so thats awesome... Right now I have it puffed up with a clamp in a really messy tail which looks really awesome if I do say so myself, and with the make up for the work interview and voila attention from the man *giggles*

As for the job interview I was just called that I can start on this very monday *gasp shock* WHAAAAACK! I then work for UPC on a customer service, and have training the first 4 weeks, which is 40 hours which I really wasnt looking but yeah WORK! I actually have a job, holy shit and I really dont feel like working at the moment, but thank god first an actual training which I am looking forward to and after the training I can work for like minimal 24 hours so thats good :) YAYAYAYAYAYAYA! Finally I am getting some money again *bounce*

*Watches House wobble in, swatting cane on desk and pouting!*

"Don't worry dear I will still have time for you!"

"But what about your work here?"

"Ooooh I will have plenty of time to do both, its just a callcenter"

*House pouts even more*

*Stand up from desk, wearing very low hip hugging pants and only tanker top because of hot weather (this is AngelDean) and grin mischievously* "Oh Comon doctor can't a girl have a little fun?"

*House mubbles something and is seen running (yes running) dragging cane behind, into own office, turning ipod open trying to ignore me standing infront of his GLASS wall waving seductively*

*Has a A-team mood* "Man I love it when a plan comes togther" *Mwuahahahahahaha*

Okay promised an update on soup dieet, yeah was preocupied with other things and strangely I still dont find myself able to write anything down... Well I write but I never finish it O.o *sobs*

Whether its writing in my lj or writing a story I keep starting stuff on a whim but am not able to finish them *scream* its so anoying!

( House MD, Don't stand so close to me )

( House MD without name )

But back to soup dieet, well it was crapy! Honestly! I cheated *grin* well I cheated with eating bread because my bowl honestly did not like all the fluids, you would say you would go more, I went less, well I peed my head of but not the rest... I missed meat so much, I never figured I would miss it this much but god I did... And bread missed that too, terribly *sigh* but yeah I didnt finish it completely, infact the last day I went back to normal eating, I could not see any soup, it was litterally comming out of my nose *shudders* and in the end I lost nothing and my dad one Kilo and he followed it down to the last letter *shakes head* so thats a biiiiiiiig no no!

Well he was thinking about erm, doing it again but a different one, and me well I am just going on like I was, trying not to eat to much bad food, and rather eat more good stuff! So yeah it was nothing worth mentioning anyways...

Good stuff, not a lot making me go woo at the moment, well I got some extra money which means I am finally going to the hairdresser *whoooo* to get my hair cut cause its more dead then alive, the last cut having been near two years ago O.o, its shocking even the hell out of me... *faint* and I am going to get some new headphones cause mine died *sobs* and I found new ones with the "kijkshop" which is kind of simular so hopefully I get my money soon cause the ones I borrowed from my dad now, are totall and utter crap!

I have been watching Supernatural, which I must is GOOOOOD, well I like season 1 more then 2, 2 is kind of, I dont know, anoying at some parts! And I am not watching it at night anymore, cause I did that once and it kept me up all night as I thought about it till it drove me crazy! It's not like I was scared or nothing I just could not get the idea of the hunting out of my head and no matter what I did it kept me awake!

So at the moment I am either watching Jeeves and Wooster, a bit of fry and laurie or a movie I downloaded, or whatever is on tv :) So yeah nothing much going on really, rather then that I am pretty tired at the moment.

So I think thats pretty much all I can think of right now :) me sees you all later!

Okay so first of, this is probably going to be one humangish update, sorry in advance, lots and lots to tell :)

I wanted to start this update of with a sad bit, my sweet baby, my beautiful red Persian Shira has left my life, she passed away 07-05-'07 after a long struggle with her heart that though she was medicated for sadly gave out... I will miss her so much, even her annoying meow and realize that as I write this (trying very hard not to sob cause dad is sitting just inches away) that it’s still a sore spot and it still hurts like hell to talk about it! As I felt in the last few months all I want to do right now is run and hide in my room, stop this stupid update and loose myself in something either Hugh Laurie or House did. But I know I owe a lot of people an explanation and not only that its time I finally wrote it down, so to start my real update of, a few piccies of my beautiful baby!



All three of my babies, Shira is the beautiful red one, Sunny the Grey one and Roeska the Red/white one.



My adorable little baby when she was just a baby! I had some more piclets but I lost all my documents so have to scan them in again *growls*

All Three of my babies, Shira is the redhead!

( The past three months! )

Long enough???? Yeah I thought it was too O.o holy heck that was indeed a huge post and begads its not over yet, mwuahahahahahahah! I wanted to tell you guys about a diet I am currently following, a soup diet… Which has me eating soup, veggies and fruits for 7 days, other than that nothing and only from the 4th day am I allowed to eat bananas and drink milk (can’t have nothing but tea, coffee, water or fruit juice, all without sugar!) and from the 6th day I can finally have some meat again, be that beef, chicken or fish but nothing other than that! GOD I MISS MY BREAD AND MEAT *sobs* but it’s actually going good, it’s not like I am hungry or something the soup fills me up very good. And if it works I should have lost between 4 and 7 kilos by the end of the seven days… Mesa wonders :) anyway it’s the start of what hopefully will be a new food pattern with less to no candy and chips but instead with lots of fruit and so on! I will keep you guys updated on how it’s going and what I lost in the end!

That yes it’s true, finally is the end of this post, I am drained now, would not know what else to write so I am going to bury myself in a game and forget about the world of the living for a while again! Zana sweety know that I will always be here, I hope that with this explanation you will all find it in your hearts to forgive me, yes I know I am not an easy person and that I sometimes forget there is a world around me, but all you need to do is send me a message and I will be there!

LOVE YOU ALL!

I know I havent been on in a long time, and I promise you, there will be an update soon, hopefully tomorrow I can take some time to write down the missery that has been my life over the past two months...

As for everyone, specially Zana I am really sorry, I hope with my explanation (soon to come) you will understand and forgive me *pouts*

So this is just a quicky update while I wait till my movie is done loading to my hardisk, yes the past few months have been a great big mess with several causes and yes I locked myself away from the world of the living which I am currently trying very hard to get out of... Tomorrow I have to get up early to go shopping for a soup diet (well bought most but tomorrow fruits and juices without sugar are cheap :P) and since my dad has an early hospital apointment I have to get up early to, which means after shopping I will have most of the day to work on my lj, update it and change the layout a little, as my obsessions have once again changed as has my mood lol...!

Anyway mesa got ter be getting ter going or something in that order *listens to Hugh Laurie going "BULLOCKS"* I will without a doubt do some stuff tomorrow so keep a weather eye out on my lj and hopefully till chatting soon my dears!

*big squishy tackle hugs to all my friends, specially Amanda and Zarina!!!!!!!!!!!*

Why thank you for that sweet introduction Severus, and yes as for the latest report on this seemingly small heatstroke that has hit the Netherlands, well only one thing can really be said...! I'M MELTING, I'M MELTING !!!!!!!!!! Back to Severus for the latest update on cooling spells and potions *runs to fan and wraps self around it*

So whats new? Well honestly not much, aside from the fact I finally learned how to make my own music vids using windows movie maker! And yes I am a dork it was far easier then I had expected *roll's eyes* and that the doctor said I wasnt healthy enough to go back to work! YAY! which buys me a little more time to get a job! Really not a whole lot has changed...

Okay the cats are in some desperate need of grooming, and I mean really desperate but heck there is no money to bring them anywhere or to buy a trimmer O.o and the fact that its honestly insanely hot outside (funny thing they said it was going to be 9 degrees celcius as of this friday where its now 29 degrees celcius OMG)is definitely something new, and quite shocking if you ask me but aside from that everything is peachy :)

I am looking forward to this sunday when my niece will finally hold her baby bash and I can get some new and improved pictures of the little devil :) havent seen him since I visited my niece a few weeks back :) so I am really looking forward to that :)

My dieeting seems to go pretty well *bounce* I have lost 2 pounds yet again (OMG YAY) and I actually look forward to my mashed fruity smoothy thingy!... I really have a hard time with not eating candy but found if I take said smoothy thingy (without sugards, just fruits and milk or joghert mashed together with own blender) around eight o'clock then I dont need any sweets or chips and I am filled for the rest of the evening :) plus all in all I have already lost near 6 pounds from when I started doing this about 4 months ago, so it really really isnt bad *squeals*

I am of course still looking for work, honestly being turned down for the simplest things is getting to me, but gotta keep going :( I am sure something will soon come my way, I hope so at least *sighs*

I got this amazing new ring, all for free, well free I saved points for it, and I finally had more then enough, dad got a chineese fondue set and me a silver ring with big white stones, honestly its like an overgorwn engagement ring when you think about it but its really really awesome *grin*

Well I think thats about all the newbies, oooh wait my dvd burner broke down *sobs* so now I have about 6 things I need to burn and I keep forgetting to drag them to my dad's computer so I can burn them there *rolls eyes* I am a dork LMAO!

Well as for my music video... Here 't is! Have fun, lemme know what you think and whether or not its completely dorkefied (prolly is Mwuahahahaha!) My very first and very own made music video... YAAAAAAAAAAAY!



And I also wanted to add the latest development in Snapy world!!!!!



The Mysterious ticking sound, the latest in the Potter Puppet Palls adventures, and an awesome one, mwuahahahaha!

*smiles inocently* Voldiemort, Voldiemort, euh Voldie Voldiemort, Voldiemort!

*sees Snape flinch* what you know its fun!

*Growls* I do not see where making fun of the dark lord is fun!

Common say it!

No!

Common or I am going to tell everyone your nick names!

You would not dare!

I would... Snapy-poo!

ANGEL!?!

Yes Seviekins?

FINE!!!!!!!! Snape Snape, Severus Snape, Snape Snape, Severus Snape!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY *does happy bunny dance*

Sooooo *grin* my most interesting turn of currently mentally events... Somehow I managed to get myself back to being obsessed by Snape and honestly its all Narma's fault. Here I was happily enjoying Gil Grissom when she practially begs me to do a rp, not that I minded *giggle*. Anyway we both adore Snape, but seeing my mind was still with Gil that wasnt much of a problem, somewhere between draging Gil into the magical world and telling Snape of for scaring my baby I found myself drifting of to the good old days to a point where I forgot all about Gil and was back in the arms of my dark mysterious lover *squee*. He forgave me for my leap of absence and more so he forgave me for beeing obsessed by some one else and gladly took me in his arms granting me a much desired kiss. I had almost forgotten how good that man can kiss *whimpers*

Anyway so from that day on, somewhere two weeks ago, or was it last week? Not sure, somewhere in that time I have found myself reading endless Snapy fanfictions, well Snapy and Hermy fanfictions. But I would not be me if I did not alter the name to Angel LOL so its Snapy and Angely? fanfictions. I lost myself on youtube for clips and music vids revolving around Snape and have my mp3 player full of HP music. I have yet to watch the movies yet again or read the books again but that is mostly because I am to busy reading fanfictions *snicker*

Other then my shift in mental health (which is probably getting more insane by the minute) I had a busy week last week, really busy actually. At the moment I am sending out about 10 to 15 job aplications a day *gasp* and last week lots of them invited me for interviews, one looks promising because I have been invited to the company as of this thursday so wish me luck *smile*.

"I am not wishing you anything Miss Dean" *Snape sneers*

"No Professor you should wish me luck to... If not I might not be here any longer"

*Snape sighs* "Fine Miss Dean, good luck, and 20 points from Gryfindor for anoying me, oh" *lips twitch in small grin* "Detention with me tonight for pulling me into you obsessing conversation with a bloody complter screen"...

*frowns* "Ah what?"

"The stupid thing you are typing on" *Snape glares dangerously*

"Ooooh a computer screen, well its quite interesting you know, you can find whatever you want on it, imagine Snape R rated fanfiction" *whistles*

"BE QUIET...! ... R rated?" *Snape is suddenly interested*

"Yes and they involve me... If you want to...!" *is seen beeing dragged into Snape's office giggling madly*

Anyway besides that little trip to insanity this week is still somewhat busy but I atleast still have time for myself. On another note of very good news I HAVE A BABY NEPHEW!!! And I lied to Zana it wasnt born last Sunday but the one before that *smiles inocently* sowwy!

Yes the birth was a straining and somewhat dangerous one, carying little Bink (his name is Hunk in direct translation *giggle*) all went okay, he was lying on a nerve ending but other then that there were no worries. She was a week overtime but they suggested it might be longer because there was almost no water left in her body and the little guy was all rinkled and his skin was dried out. Anyway when she went in labour it was imidiatly bad, within 15 min she had contraptions every two minutes and she was rushed to the hospital. When little Bink was born her placenta didnt come loose and she started loosing a lot of blood to the point where she fainted and had to be operated on to get the placenta out. Quite scary! Thankfully she was released the next day (tuesday) after beeing transfused that night. Little Bink was a okay and full of fire *giggle*.

So last friday we went and visited her, and she was really pale, its possible that she needs another blood transfusion because the posibility is great that she didnt have enough blood yet. Not sure havent heard about it so dont know what, when, where and how! But little Bink is adorable... Dad took loads of piclets but I am showing only two cause most were overlighted *sobs* one of only Bink, in his grandmothers hands :P and one of me and Bink, I am litterally a giant compared to the little boy, heck I felt like Hargid *sigh*





Isnt he gorgeous???? I love him *sighs* and the coolest thing ever, he could be Angel Dean's baby :P. He has really dark almost black hair, and stormy blue eyes that are full of life :) when I saw him I went aaaaaw Snape and Angel had a baby, then started laughing because of the weird looks my aunt was giving me. I think she finally realizes I am insane too *nods*

*Snape runs of screaming at mention of baby*

*quirks eyebrow* "erm...?"

*several students are later found splatted against the wall, their incoherant mumbles seem to point in Snape's direction as he fervously threw them aside muttering about Angel wanting a baby*

O.o wow I never knew he was scared of babies, shees and I dont even want one *rolls eyes* but yeah little Bink was adorable *giggles* and eventhough my neice, wow I havent even mentioned her name yet O.o... Eefje :) eventhough Eefje looked very pale and tired she looked so cute with her little man in her arms... Sometimes happiness can come in the tinest gifts :)

Well I have to get going O.o I have to care for my sick sister and do her shopping. Poor thing is sick as a dog *huggles her* so I am going to make sure she is pampered and stuff :)

Love you guys *big squishy tackle hug*

*sees Snape stalking back and hides into shaddows until he is close enough, then leaps out*

*Snape screams* "Miss Dean how dare you" *goes into long rant*

*giggles, then drags him into private chambers kissing him passionately, nipping his bottom lip* "Come one Snapy lets go make babies"

*Snape screams yet again, and is seen running of, later found hiding in a corner rocking himself to a near state of hysteric's while mumbling Angel's name over and over. It took several hugs from Dumbledore and a reasuring smile of Angel that she really was making a joke to calm him down* :)

Sooooooo my updates have been ages ago :) but yeah you know me, not much happening in my life at the moment anyways. But my last week was somewhat intruging, monday I was sick, but my CSI book finally came in which I had ordered for my b-day weeks ago so we picked up, other then that I canceled my shrink apointment and stayed in bed *sigh* felt really really crappy that day, no idea why. My stomach playing up (usual problems) my head hurting, my nose stuffed, my ears really hurting now, they had been infected for a while but because of the high blood presure I could not get anti biotics so yeah, but I think the infection got worse because it was like I had constant ear plugs in *giggles* really felt like Gil Grissom season 2/3 now, slowly loosing my hearing, compaired with the pain it was everything but pleasant *sigh* I think I even had a fever because I was red like a tomato and felt really hot but yeah wasnt in the mood to test it just wanted to stay into bed and was happy about that. Happy as a sick person can be at least *grin*

Aside from that I am desperately looking for a job at the moment, why because we have exactly no money anymore, bills are no longer being fully payed, food is scarse to say the least and each week we worry about it *sobs* its getting worse every day and bloody hell be damned if I get a message back from the sick leave department because they are WAY under paying me, safe to say I am getting more worried each day and its becomming really bad at the moment. Shot out several solicitations this week but nothing seems to be really working, also looking for home work cause maybe that will help but that doesnt seem to be paying of either. To top things of the email server of my acount has crashed and I can no longer send things, I can recieve but not send and in the age of email solicitations that is a real killer, and I am kind of gibberish about sending it through hotmail cause honestly that is not particular profesionally. Hopefully it will be back after the weekend, if not I will start sending stuff through hotmail and hope that they wont think me little for it *sigh* might give a heads up message in my letter and hope the best. Other then that I really really hope I get a job soon, already trying call centers, supermarkets and everything!

As for a good thing I am trying very hard to get back to school, have been ordering major brocures, even as a reporter but not sure about that yet because simply its a little out of my league (HBO) and I still need (MBO) and because their are a lot of things that arent interest me. But since I was little I always wanted to be a cook, so asked for a brocure for that but was told I am too old and can not follow the schooling, well I could but that would be 1 day school and 4 day work and I really dont want that because one I want to take a break from work and two its a lot shorter, a lot more cramped and not what I am looking for, so to move on I was kind of said about that but fell upon bakery stuff, and then not bread but pastries and cakes and goodies which also seems like a lot of fun because at home I always make that stuff and love just adding things without thinking really. So I am setting my sights on that for the moment and am calling monday to see if I am not to OLD yet again *sighs* hopefully not because it is a two year schooling with 5 days of school and intern ships, plus I get to cook and have fun and am looking forward to it, though not putting my hopes up just yet. If indeed I go to school then of course their is the matter of funding but thankfully I am still up for student colegue money and will only need to have a little job on the side to make about 50 euro's a week :) so everyone cross your fingers cause I really really really want to get back to school and finally get my degree!

Well between email problems, finding schools and jobs I got some new sites to earn some money by reading mails and fun fact they are all english and american and actually fun to do, more so they save on paypal acounts which means ebay money *bounce* and they are actually paying rather well, well you think they pay like crap 1/4 of a cent for each email but you get 15 emails a day which makes it a whole lot more then the dutch ones *bounce* okay so my mail box is insanely stacked each day but I am bringing around 50 cents a day and that is not half bad, *dreams of all the goodies she can buy without spending home money* that way I can at least treat myself to a little something every now and then and not worry to death about how we are going to make it through the next week.

As for thursday that was way way fun, my sister was coming over late in the afternoon because her husband would not come home, but half way through the day he decided he was going to come home and so they would stay here for dinner, brought all kind of stuff with her to cook. Well he came and had the smart idea to go to the do it yourself shop (or whatever its called in english) not far from here and he wanted to do it before dinner, now on the way their there is this little cowboy stake house we always pass, always seems empty and from the outside cheap and boring. So on the way back home my dad mentioned it and Micheal (the husband) litterly went, ooooh want to go there, pulled the wheel and drove into the parking lot, with us going whoah but we have no money for it! He merely rolled his eyes and said it was his treat, so we went in there and its this insanely cool old cowboy style ranch thingy, the outside did it absolutely no justice. With the most awesome stuff inside, indians, cowboys, revolvers even a barbershop shaving set from got knows how long ago donated by some one who always came there to eat. The food was awesome, in buffet style so you could get whatever you want and all you could eat for a mere 18 euro's a person which is really cheap. The waitresses were fun and actually really proud of where they worked, there was country music playing all the time and you could choose from way more then you could eat. The specialties of the house were a spicy sate saus which was really jummy and an apple compot with cinamon and peach and it was to die for, fun fact I dont even like apple compot specially not hot *giggles*. Then there were salads and sauses and soup, and fruit and chocolate mous which I think had soimething like tia maria in it but still very gorgeous and omg the fries they were amazing, absolutely no fats, comepletely fat free *gasp* and gorgeous and crispy, steamed inside an oven from what I understood, they were totally rocking awesome *bounces* cant wait to get me some money and eat there again and its only like a ten min drive. For a moment I felt like I was lost in Return to Lonesome Dove, sitting with Gideon Walker just enjoying the relaxed nature of the west, well when there isnt gun fire of course *gigglesnortgiggle* for all those in Tilburg or comming to Tilburg, thats a definite plus *thumbs up*

Aside from that I did finally go to the doc again, my blood presure is okay again *bounce* I finally got my anti-biotics, yaaaaaay and my ears are clearing though I think they need to be cleaned with presure cause they are still somewhat stuffed, but I actually had to turn my music down because it was to loud lol. Plus on a happy note I finally found my solitudes thunderstorm in the wilderness cd or erm I finally was able to download it, I have the cd but it was destroyed by my player a long time ago and only the first 4 minutes would play. But finally I found it *does dance* and have it back in my posession, oh sweet happiness I can finally relax with the sound of roaring thunder and rain, the whispering of birds and toads and the chattering of apes in the distance. And as a added bonus it also has sounds of thunder of the sea, or the beach, the sea gushing onto the beach its so awesome *bounces up and down*

I think thats about it O.o got two new William Petersen movies, young guns 2, pretty okay, some fun bits and Manhunter which to my surprise is an old but very awesome movie *gasp* its about an FBI profiler (Petersen) named William Graham who goes into the mind of a killer, bla bla bla and there is this really sexy bit in it *giggles* but aside from that, young Billy is a very sexy and droolsome sight and then there is the high speed of the movie which keeps you hooked and the ocasional romantic peices where even the killer gets some love which though perhaps very wrong is strangely sweet and makes you actually feel for the serial killer, not that he doesnt loose it in the end and you just want to strangle him but yeah *giggle*

Oooh and I saw 'Night at the Museum' that is totally freaking awesome, I laughed so hard even though the sound was WAY out of sinc I really didnt care, its the best movie aside from POTC and HP I have seen in a long time, its funny, sweet a little freaky sometimes but overall awesome. I loved the Dinosaur (FETCH REXIE) kind of reminded me of Shep from George of the Jungle, and Robin Williams was really awesome in this movie not the mention Owen Wilson as the cowboy it really was a very awesome and fun movie and if you want some time away from reality and have tears streaming down your face from laughter you should definitely go SEE it :)

Well that really is about it, damn RSI hurting my hands again, really cant type on normal keyboard anymore *sigh* but thankfully I still have my laptop *giggle* so for now!

SO LONG, SO LONG, SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH!!!

(oh and if anyone wonders why I have the (YOU ASSHOLE) as my user pic watch the pilot episode of CSI and you will understand, sometimes my Gilly can be soooooo cute *dies laughing*)

( quizzes )

First of, Zarina I want to wish you an awesome birthday, I know this is posted a little early but seeing as tomorrow is spend on cooking goodies and cleaning the house and sunday on actually celebrating my b-day along with my fathers, nieces, and uncles its going to be an insanely busy weekend and I might actually forget it, and I so dont want to forget it :)

I know my banner skills are no where as good as yours honey but I wanted to do something special because you gave me such an awesome banner gift, so I tried my luck and rummaged around a little, I hope you like it :) its from the heart :P and an ode to most of your obsessions... 



Have a fun birthday, get showered by gifts and love and dont ever forget you can find friends in the smallest of places, or the biggest of sites :P

Love Jolijn..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay this may be cut short if my sisters husband comes home to bring me back :) if so then I will continue it tonight *giggles* if not well you will notice I am sure of it *snorts*

So yesterday was my birthday for my mom and my grandma and we decided to actually have it with my sis since my dad really isnt doing well. Turned out to be a great idea, I spend the night from tuesday to wensday and we decided late at night I would spend another night just to get away from the mess at home. I guess me and my dad have really worked eachother up the ceiling lately because he really didnt mind, but I am happy my sister understands and sees my part of the story too, it isnt just me though he loves to blame me for it all. Anyway my b-day my mom came in the morning and my sis would go with her in the afternoon so I would have the house to myself for the better part of the day and the evening. I greedily took advantage of that, watching a Indiana Jones movie, the lost ark? If I am not mistaken and what to my surpise I really really loved it, should copy or download it sooner or later :)

After watching I went upstairs and took a bath, havent done so in like two years since we dont have one :P but my sister does, and what a bath an actual jet stream bubble bath, man that was so fricking relaxing, just lying there, music cranked open, reading books :P I near fell asleep and was so relaxed when I got out that I could barely walk *giggles* its actually fun being on yourself away from home, we decided that it would happen more often, maybe every now and then when my sis is away for the weekend so I have the place to myself and when her husban is away for a few nights so its just the two of us. Though I really dont want to be a burden I am beginning to feel more at ease her so that might be a good thing and since I now have my own acount on their server I can do what ever I want, have all my sites and my chat programms, the only thing I miss is my email but ah well if thats all :P

So its safe to say I feel somewhat revived at the moment, I just hope it did the same for my dad :) and for the fact I have a little money :p 50 euro's which I got from my mom, I really dont mind, will be happy because I can now buy my W.I.T.C.H cartoon again and maybe a CSI book if I can find it in English but its doubtful, I mean I can find it in English but that is by internet buying :) I also want to buy some fruits because man I have the munchies at the moment, what can I say time of the month, but I made a promise to myself and last night to Cammy that I am going to stop eat unhealthy stuff and really work on my diet, and I must admit its going pretty good, I still have cravings but not as bad as usual and since sunday is going to be a HUGE step away from my diet (we celebrate my b-day, that of my dad, my niece and my uncle, MAO and we are making all sorts of goodies) I figured I might get something healthy now like fruits and then mash them up like my sis does and have that, or get some rice crackers something like that :) its healthy, low calory and quite jummy :)

Erm yeah that was about what I wanted to talk about I guess, aside from that nothing really happened, oooooh I got a necklace from my birthday from my Uncle, well I think he is actually an Nephew but yeah him being older then my dad makes him my uncle in my eyes LMAO. And some black towels and washing cloth from my grandma for when I move out and 10 euro's worth of gift certificates for our local drugstore, well that name in english is just wrong lmao cause they only sell homiopatic stuff and pain killers, nothing heavy. Besides that they sell everything for your body and hair, shampoo etc etc etc :) So I am pretty pleased with what I got, I will probably get one more gift next sunday from my aunt but aside from that nothing more, oooh my dad said he would give me something when he feels better but he really doesnt need too :)

Well gotta get going, am done with what I came to say :) yay, going to help my sis with her dishes now and get ready to go home :)

*big squishy tackle huggle*

*screams* "GRISSOM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING" *runs around the break room being chased by insane greying but very sexy man*

"YOU STOLE MY CROSSWORD PUZZLE" *grabs but misses*

"WHAT THERE IS ANOTHER PAPER ON THE TABLE" *feels fingers graze arm and falls down on couch with big oomf*

"oh! OOPS!" *falls over from flying feet of woman before him and lands straight on top of her feeling her chest against his* "sorry?!"

*starts giggling madly* "no no dont be sorry, that was funny" *plants quick kiss on his lips then blushes thinking oh my hell what did I do now*

*gasps then quirks eyesbrow before kissing back, pulling head close, wrapping hands in hair. Tongue darting along lips, slowely tugging bottom lip before opening lips and starts a mad lustful fight with his tongue*

*whimpers*

*gasps for breath all flustered* "lets do this again soon"

"How about right now" *goes right back to sensual passionate kiss*

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!